Old Friends

I meet up with an old friend today. We did many undergraduate courses together, but in our final year the competition and interdependence between us had become too intense and I felt I had no other choice but to distance myself from her – and as a result be forced to stand on my own two feet. I had a great year meeting new people, but I know that she struggled a bit, and I did feel guilty about that. But there was no way that I could have continued the friendship with her at that time.

Seeing her today went much better than I expected. Although, I have seen her in the last year, things were strained between us at best and obviously uncomfortable at worst. Today, however, was different. I felt we both presented ourselves as we are, there was no pretence and no undercurrent of competition that was such an big part of our friendship before. I felt as though we both finally saw the other for who we were today and not what we had been through in the last ten years of friendship. It was really nice, I enjoyed her company. Our issues with life have always seemed to mirror each others, and today was no exception and we had an raw and honest conversation and appraisal of our current situation. It was refreshing to spend time with someone that knows my past, but whose view of me wasn’t too clouded by it. All in all, seeing her again was a lovely end to an otherwise rainy and boring day.